But I die…

I stay in your heart akin to a fish in water. You, unaware of my presence…but I die, if separated.


The Lovely Summer-girl 

Beneath the night sky, with summer heat high; lay two souls, bound in a roll;

In the tide of stars and blooming crescent, they lay embraced arm in arm; the cool breeze and her velvet hair danced over his face ,  her lips chirped stories of her age , which he did not listen but heared without any damage;

At times prevailed silence , it felt like night sky; still and full of feeling like the stars, where the blazing moon of their embrace cooled their heart’s pending scars;

The boy felt like rain, in his tiny brain; when she told him a thousands of stories and hundreds of her friend’s mysteries; he lay there on her arm, caressed her cheeks with his hands not so strong, and stole glance in her eyes which danced as her talks went high.

Never did he leave her alone, searched for her eyes all day long, she looked forward along; every morning he woke up in her arms, ‘Ah! this is the best morning.’ he thought.

But his best summer came to a halt, before he named what he felt in his heart; like a mesmerising dream he held her in him.

He bore his summer girl, deep down his bosom; and loved to play his tune when alone;

Some words he should have said remained unspoken. he let her go, for it was his first crush, and he savoured the unsaid intimacy he had with her.

Shards of Heart

 You broke my beating chamber, my heart shattered now, its shards point to you, crave for you and rip my chest open to haunt the  going places, all for you.

But you, heartless, look at me with a wicked smile, as if saying ” a few steps more and I’m  all yours.”

I smile, and like a crazy lover, I step ahead..

A Girl Writes…

24thNov. 2016, 0500 IST

Why do you look up at me in disgust? Why do your eyes call me abhor-able? What has made me so different from you? Is it the prize of what they did? Your eyes had a twinkle in them when I was around, why did you let disgust and hatred replace it? How did all the love and pampering disappear for me with the so called “wrong” which you think I committed?

“Maa” what makes you taunt me for the whole day since then? Papa I was your good girl, your honor, wasn’t I? I was a thing you proudly bragged about. How can an act, which I even did not commit, make you limit me within the threshold of the house? Brother you wanted me to be a pilot one day, it was your dream. It was you who taught me the worth of education, women emaciation and empowerment, terms which lay like only big philosophies. Where did the idea vanish? Your eyes reflect vengeance, desperation and hatred today. Why do you call your beloved rakhi girl a “filth”? Why are you looking for groom? I am just 19.  How come just twenty minutes change my name form sister to burden? How did you agree to pay such a huge dowry? Why did you let the circumstances change your ideals?

Oh my friends, am I not worthy enough to join you to parties? Does that cataclysmic change snatch my rights to live? Why do I have to hear my relative whisper on my back and look at me as if I am the mud of the pond?  Why do I have to drape myself in a shawl when I go out? What do I try to cover, what do I drape and more importantly from whom, they are all the same? It suffocates the life out of me.

Why do the lawyers and the police ask me a thousand times as to where I was touched, how was it done, what all they put in me, what all was I made to touch, why? How am I expected to explain them the pain I hold within? How do I articulate the way they crawled over y genitals like rain worms? Oh how I was name called by a swarm of bees digging in their painful stings all over me, parting me the pain of a thousand lives. How was it my mistake that I was caught in the goddamn traffic late night? Was it my mistake that the drunken monsters were horny or became horny seeing me or whatever? The auto driver was his mate, was that too my mistake? It must have been my mistake to be offered a drink and pornography by those erect whoremongers. I guess it was my mistake to scream and cry mincing in the intense pain as the screwdriver went in me, or when the beer bottle was shoved up my anus. I guess I was wrong in pushing one of the pervert beasts to death. It must have been my mistake that they filmed by body and their acts under the flash. I was wrong walking back home in tatters, when nobody came to help me as I lay mincing on the pavement in pain that cold raining night. I guess I was wrong in telling my parents. I must have been wrong at visiting the police station too. It would have been better if they killed me after the rape.

I guess I was wrong being born a girl!


She’s adorable…

She’s like, a beautifully crafted piece of literature;

She’s like, an impeccably brushed canvas of miniature;

Like a mural’s splendor, she’s my soul’s plural, yet singular we stand ajar, bound in the music of sentimental silence;

The bosom’s lip sync, like the perfection of Mozart, like the harmony of Beethoven;


Her eyes rain love and faith,

I akin to a desperate prostitute, shameless not heartless,

Look up at her, to not lose a moment of falling for her,

Every time she blinks…


O love,

Let the newborn in me, grow in your cuddle;

The infant love cheer thru the verses;

Let the rhyming current of our sprouting purity end up in the ocean of love.



You dwell so far…


Very far from this world of rational,

far from this world of hippocracy;

Very far from the shades of grey, untouched by ubiquitous filth of sly,

Unknown of the struggle of subsistence,

Oh dear you dwell so far…


From me o lord,

you dwell so far, unknown of my pangs,

which in nights explodes in bangs, silent but hard;

night knocks my shadow and carries my shadow beneath the sky,

droplets of cold touch rain in your territory of reign,

the light may not be bright as my shadow feels light,

but I lift my horizons to glance at you.


Possessive for you, but light is all I get,

In desire of my sole claim on your name…

I bathe in  your lights thru pangs and frights,

But one nights takes you away from me,

Another gifts me crescent face , a renewed energy in me swerves,

And veils the grief in my nerves.



Dated: Saturday, August 13, 2016

Timed: 4:24 PM

Till Five In The Morning



Dated: Friday, April 8, 2016

Timed: 12:09 AM

Yeah I felt it,

Not till five in the morning;

I was right in doing,

Till five in the morning;

I just felt weird,

Till five in the morning;

I was right in swearing,

Till five in the morning;


But at five in the morning,

Turned on the phone,

Four notifications against my hope,

Messages I could not cope;

At five in the morning,

My heart cried,

Though it was right,

Till five in the morning;

But now I had fright,

I had hurt my Akki right,

The sun seemed no bright,

My heart felt no light,

One almost passed but came, another night,

At five in the morning;


Her love was overlooked,

Her heart had an innocent look,

But at night,

My anger overtook,

Ruined it all,

Rolled her as a senti ball,

So quiver was the night fall;


I realized,

At five in the morning,

I had lost it,

I had hurt her,

One who was made to be loved,

To be cared and pampered,

To be tended and hugged,

Was the one I called bitch,

Over my mind must have been a witch,

Who ruined it to zilch;

It’s strange, the promise,

Of love and gift of pain,

Tormenting me was her pain,

Tormenting her was my pain,

Which I exaggerated in vain;

I felt sorry,

At five in the morning;

I should say it,

I’m sorry…