Open Wound!

“You don’t talk to me!” She said.

“I don’t talk at nights.” I replied.

“Why? You sleep!”

“I am vulnerable at nights, like an open exposed fresh wound. I do not want anyone to caress it.”

“Why so?”

“Because I might like it.”

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THE DRAPERY TREND

The idea of penning this incident down came when I noticed two girls, in my university campus, posing for a selfie, from underneath the scarf that draped their face like a mummified corpse.  Weird enough to be laughed at and provoking enough to be avoided! I’m sure they must have produced a pout under the scarf, but the poor camera wasn’t powerful enough and could not scan, their lips dwindling, under the scarf. Thankfully it did not have the power, the x-ray vision; it would have blushed seeing the absurdity underneath the drape. Similar phenomenon has been observed for burqahs in every corner of the earth (corner! But I have heard that earth is round!). Women have often been spotted posing for camera from the drapery of burqahs. How exciting it would be to let the camera explore only the eyes (sometimes they too are behind laces and mesh) and a body covered in loose burqahs (it is almost impossible to guess the figure)! For some esoteric reason their elation is similar to the level of a regular girl clicking her selfie. It’s their picture, and I’m sure they remember the expression and thus, can see it, a pout, a bubble, a tease, or some other incomprehensible expression people often produce for the camera.

There are added advantages to the drapery trend besides protection from lusty eyes and equally lecherous pollution. You can always use it for identity theft and no one dares probe into your burqahs or general little drape, scarf. Women are quite privileged nowadays. Once upon a time there was a messiah named Feminism and he proposed the two sexes to be treated equal. I remember an incident from Kanpur railway station, my friend stood in a queue for ticket, it was a high time, diwali, and the head-legs-flood was on. A fat woman came pushing people and my friend objected. “Aunty line se aaiye please.” To this her reply was “Ladke, dikhta nahi ladies hoon!” No judgements on singularity-plurality of ‘ladies’. She was right, for the record she looked two in one.  “Toh please ladies wali line mein jaaiye na.” The women’s line was quite heavy too. “Ladies ki koi izzat hi nahi hai.” She pushed him and marched ahead to the counter. This happens quite often, there are women who demand respect and privileged (mark my words, privileged not equal), try out a public transport. I am quite confused where the limit of feminism ends and abuse starts. I am a feminist at heart but I surely loath the ‘demanded privilege’. Identity theft. You can put on a huge windshield, correction, huge sunglasses (still not much difference though), for better results. It is trendy plus traditional way to conceal identity. You might possibly forget using a concealer in makeup but scarf or burqahs compensates it completely, but I’m sure you do not want to forget mascara and kajal and eyeliner and god knows what all is smeared on eyes. It is unbiased, like many young men; to the exotic beauty or holy ugliness of your face it hides everything. Nevertheless as it conceals, it beautifies you too, exposing your killer eyes. Eyes in burqahs and scarf generally look beautiful, you might have so well reconstructed the face that sometimes the revelation might kill you.

Once a man on a bus I was travelling was continually flirting with a burqah lady who had, apparently, beautiful eyes. The lady too, supposedly, was playing along. Thirty kilometers of journey before the man saw her shriveled and aged hand. It was embarrassing for him and hilarious for me. You cannot ask a girl to lift the veil; you do not want to get a slap or worse a fatwa against you (worst if someone executes the demands of fatwa). In the times of scarcity, feel free to use the scarf as a bed sheet of towel (government has started issuing sanitary pads in hospitals I suppose, thankfully, else… who knows). The trend redefines the liberty and reusability; you conceal your assets before papa using the scarf as dupatta and are free to reveal it before boyfriend.

Another incident happened at a paani-puri makeshift shop near my home. A teen couple (apprarently) sat waiting for their orders and the girl happened to see her father pass by. She safely pulled on her scarf. Identity saved! ‘Get on your boyfriend’s bike before papa; it is now possible with our version 2.0 rainbow scarf’. You can also walk past your boyfriend with a new boyfriend, unnoticed! We have enough justified arguments and evidences in its favor. It protects you form dust, smoke and tan. But do we get tanned at nights too or inside a restaurant or even in rain? It is like a person wearing sunglasses at night or in bathroom.

Let us take an oath to get our pictures clicked in pompously colored drapes on funerals and let our boyfriends guess us from our eyes, if they don’t, lets dump them on the name of this holy drapery trend. Relationship status: Draped in a complicated relationship.

Thanks for reading.

Prashant

Can you fake cuteness?